


Too Different

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Fraxus [13]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Apologies, Edolas, Established Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Homecoming, Hope, Lies, Love, M/M, Missing Persons, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Freed has been trapped in Edolas for six months, living a life with that world's Laxus...loving him, but the differences are too much to bear and eventually he risks everything just for the chance to go home





	Too Different

   Freed hesitated as he lingered by the bed, studying the man curled up in the covers with soft eyes, debating with himself whether he could really do this. Whether he could truly choose to leave this all behind. With a soft snort, the man rolled over, mumbling under his breath as he claimed the still warm spot that Freed had been occupying only a moment before and the Rune mage sighed at the peaceful expression on the other’s face. _He looks so peaceful_ , he thought with a hint of sadness as he stepped forward, reaching out to gently run his fingers through bed-mussed hair, his heart aching as even in sleep the other man smiled slightly and leant into his touch.

_Laxus…_

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, not sure why he was saying it aloud when the whole point of waiting until Laxus was asleep was so he could slip out without a fight. Did he want the older man to hear him? To wake up and see the tears on his cheeks. To reach out and stop him? What made it worse was the thought that if it had been his Laxus in the bed, the other man would have already been awake, because not once, in all the time they had been together had he managed to sneak out undetected. At the time he had cursed his lover’s advanced senses, but now it was another painful reminder of what he had lost, and what he still longed for, and his expression hardened. “I’m sorry,” he repeated even more softly than before, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to Laxus’ forehead.

_I hope that you can find your own happiness…_

   Despite his resolve, his eyes were stinging fiercely as he slipped out of the bedroom. He paused in the living room for a moment, glancing around at the photos that covered the walls. Some showed a very different Freed, one with wild hair and shadowed eyes next to the blonde currently asleep in the bedroom, while more recent ones showed pictures of him with this world’s Laxus and his heart clenched. In every single one, no matter which Freed was stood beside him, the blond was smiling, happy and content. _This isn’t my Laxus_ …In the few photos he had ever owned of himself and the Dragon-slayer, Laxus’s best effort at a smile had been a tiny curl of the lips, he wasn’t a man given to ridiculous smiles and whilst the Rune mage had sometimes wished that he could capture an honest smile, he now found himself longing for that half-smirk.

_I want my Laxus…_

   Shaking himself out of his thoughts he laid the letter he had been writing for the past week onto the table, his fingers lingering on it for a moment before he headed for the door. _Farewell_ , he whispered as he stepped out of the house and closed the door behind him. It had been his home for nearly six months now, and despite himself, he had found himself growing attached, and there was a slight pang as he turned and walked away, knowing that he was never going to set foot in it again.

   The city was quiet at this hour, which was both a blessing and a curse. If the streets were busier, he would never have been able to pass unnoticed, the guild mark on his hand making sure of that. In the days since Prince Jellal had taken the throne, Fairy Tail had grown in popularity, to the point where nearly all of them were recognisable by sight. The downside of the silence was that there was nothing to distract him from his thoughts, from the doubts that still churned inside him despite his determination. _Can I really do this? I’ve lived this life for six months, can I really throw that away?_

   Six months ago he had found himself waking up to discover that he was trapped in a world that wasn’t his own. Waking in a Fairy Tail filled with people that he knew, but at the same time didn’t. It had taken him a couple of days to learn about the recent events that the county - Edolas, he had discovered it was called, had just endured. To learn that his Fairy Tail, and his friends had been sent back to their own world along with everything magical the day before he had woken. To this day he had no idea what had happened or how he had been left behind, all he knew was that he was trapped in this world, with no magic and no way of finding his way home. And he had tried. He had searched high and low for a way to get home, to get back to his home, his team… his Laxus. He’d even gone to the new King, still stunned to learn this was Mystogan, only to be told that it was impossible to reopen the Anima that had sent everyone home.

   He was trapped. He had still been reeling from that realisation when he had met this world’s Laxus. For a brief, heart-stopping moment he had entertained the wild hope that it was his Laxus, that he was either trapped here as well or had found some way to come for him. It hadn’t taken him long to realise that the blond was not his Laxus. Their personalities couldn’t have been more different, and this Laxus was the heart and soul of the guild, more interested in living day by day than trying to surpass anyone, and yet he had allowed himself to be sucked in. He still had no idea what had happened to this world’s Freed, but it had been clear from the start that their relationship had been similar to the one he shared with his Dragon-slayer. And desperately needing something to remind him of the life he’d been living before this, he had allowed himself to be pulled into this Laxus’ pace…

   They had found happiness in their own way, but Freed had never been able to settle fully, unable to forget the fact that this wasn’t his Laxus, that it wasn’t his world, and that somehow he had slipped into the role of a man he didn’t know. Weeks had become months, and he had grown closer to this Laxus, but the closer they got, the more the differences between this man and his own Dragon-slayer began to stand out, and he found himself pulling away. There had always been those that had doubted the relationship he had shared with his Laxus, mainly because of how different they were, and he could admit that part of him at least was a better match for Edo Laxus, but that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted the surly Dragon-slayer, the one who swore blind he didn’t need a bodyguard and yet had never pushed Freed away. He wanted the Lightning mage who was still fighting to realise that he didn’t need to surpass his family name and connections. He wanted the man that he had sworn to protect as a friend, only to fall in love with later, and slowly that thought had become all-consuming.

 _I want my Laxus…_ He had started to look for a way home again, but just as when he had searched the first time there was nothing apart from the tale of how Earthland’s Lisanna had been pulled into this world, possibly to replace their Lisanna and he found himself wondering if maybe just maybe he could repeat that feat in reverse. And so two months before he had started searching for any lingering remnants of Anima in the air. It had been a long, seemingly hopeless search, not helped by the fact that he had been concealing what he was doing from both Laxus and Fairy Tail. The day before he had finally found what he was looking for. It was small, barely even enough to be called Anima at all and he had no idea if it would be enough to give him a chance to get home, but he had to try. He had to go back and find his Laxus and make up for the lie he had been living for the last few months.

   Reaching the outskirts of the city, he found himself hesitating once more as he slowly made his way towards the cliff that overlooked the deep drop to the valley below, a valley now marked by fallen islands from where the magic had disappeared. _Can I really do this?_ He asked himself, glancing back towards the city, wondering if Laxus had even realised he had gone yet, torn between hoping that he was still deeply asleep, and praying that he would wake up and chase after him. _No_. He shook his head, glancing down at the mark on his hand, remembering how his Laxus had held out a hand to him years before and asked if he wanted to join Fairy Tail. That was the Laxus he wanted, the Laxus he needed, and while his eyes were welling up at the thought of what he was leaving behind, he found his movements becoming more confident as he stepped up to the edge.

   There, halfway down he could make out the shimmering form of the Anima, and he swallowed hard. He had no idea if this would work, and a small voice was urging him to give up and go back, to hold on to the life he had been given here. _I can’t…_ Fierce blue eyes, and gruff words of welcome and later love echoed through his head. That was the Laxus he wanted, and it was that image that he clung to as he gathered his courage and took the final step, praying that he was going to find his way home to that Laxus. To his Laxus.

_I’m sorry, but I need my Laxus. You’re just too different for me to keep up this lie…_

*******

Edolas:

   Laxus jolted awake with a sharp cry, sitting up and immediately turning towards Freed’s side of the bed, unsure of what had woken him, but oddly unsurprised to find the opposite side of the bed was empty. It might not have surprised him, but his stomach churned at the empty space, and his hand trembled slightly as he reached out to brush his hand over the dent that marked when the younger man had been, the uneasy feeling intensifying as the sheet and pillow were cool to the touch. Freed had clearly been gone a while.

“Freed?” He called as he yanked his hand back, waiting hopefully for a response, but all that greeted him was silence, and he hesitated for a moment before slipping out of bed, and there was a fresh urgency to his movements as he headed for the door. He hadn’t been blind to the fact that the other man had been quieter than usual the last few days, or that there had been a distance between them that hadn’t been there before. But he hadn’t known how to bring it up, and so he had stayed quiet and hoped that Freed would open up when he was ready. _Was I wrong to wait? Was it more serious than I realised?_ He swallowed nervously, and after quickly checking the bathroom he charged down the stairs, praying that he was going to find his partner there.

   The lamp that had been left on in the living room caught his attention, and he moved swiftly into the room, coming up short when there was no Freed curled up on the couch like he had imagined. _Where are you?_ He was about to turn away, intending to get dressed so that he could go and check the guild in the hopes that Freed might have retreated to the library as he had done several times over the last few months, usually after their rare arguments. Although they hadn’t argued, or even bickered for the last couple of weeks…when his attention was drawn to the sheet of paper on the coffee table, something that he was sure hadn’t been there when they’d gone to bed, and he froze. _Freed…_

   He didn’t want to read it, the churning sensation in his stomach intensifying, but he took a deep breath before forcing himself to move across and pick it up. There was no mistaking the elegant script, and for a moment he just traced his finger across it, fearing to actually read the words…but he owed Freed that much, and so gathering his courage, he forced himself to focus on the text, his heart hammering in his chest.

_Laxus,_

_There are many things that I want to tell you, many that I wish I could have told you in person. That I probably should have told you in person, but I wasn’t brave enough to say them aloud, or to see the pain that I’m sure the words will cause you._

_Firstly, though, I need you to know that I love you. I love you more than I can possibly put into words, and these last six months have been priceless. Living with you. Loving you. It is something I could never regret, and it is something I will always remember._

_But the fact is, it wasn’t a life I deserved to have, not with you at least. I don’t belong here in Edolas. In this world. I was never sure if you suspected or realised, but I was not your Freed, not the Freed that belonged in this world. Who belonged with you. I came from Earthland, but for some reason, I was trapped here when my guild, when my friends were sucked back through the Anima. I’m sorry that I never told you. I was falling apart, reeling from realising I couldn’t go home when I met you. I knew that you weren’t my Laxus, but you were Laxus, and right then that was what I needed, and I was selfish, I clung to you and let out relationship develop and I know that I should have never let that happen. That all I have done is hurt us both, and for that, I am truly sorry._

_I told you I love you and the life we had together, and I do. But it isn’t enough, not anymore. I’ve always searched for a way to go home, and I think I have found one. One last Anima. I don’t know if it will work. There is every chance that I will fail. That I might even die. But I had to try…I love you, but you’re not my Laxus. You’re not the man I fell in love with long ago, and I can no longer live with that difference. I’m going home. I’m going back to him. I don’t know what happened to this world’s Freed, but I hope that you can find him, or you can find someone else. Someone who truly deserves your love, and I want you to grasp that person - that happiness with both hands._

_I’m so sorry._

_I love you._

_Freed._

   It was only when a tear hit the paper that Laxus realised he was crying, and the letter crumpled as his fingers tightened around it. _Freed…_ A pained noise escaped as he felt his legs giving way beneath him, and he dropped slowly to the floor, clutching the letter like a lifeline. He had known from the start that Freed wasn’t his Freed. His Freed had disappeared a couple of years before, and given the way the country had been back then, he had long since accepted that he was never going to see the younger man again. Then Earthland’s Freed had appeared before him, and all the feelings he’d thought that he’d buried, slammed into him once more. He knew that it was a different Freed, but he hadn’t cared. He had clung to Freed, and as their relationship changed and deepened he had allowed himself to believe that the lie had become a reality.

   Part of him wanted to be angry with Freed, to howl at the unfairness of it all, to rip the letter to shreds as the words had torn him apart, but he couldn’t, because he understood. He had loved Freed, loved him with every fibre of his being, but it wasn’t the same. He had missed his Freed, had spent days daydreaming of what his life would have been like with his own Freed. Sometimes even contemplating just walking away from this lie, but he hadn’t, and now Freed had made the decision for both of them. It hurt. It hurt more than he had ever believed possible, but as he doubled over with a sob, he couldn’t help but hope that Freed would find his way home. Tears streaked down his cheeks, and he squeezed his eyes shut, unable to bear the thought of looking around at the pictures of their life together, and instead he pressed his lips against the letter.

_I love you too…_

*****

   For a moment he had honestly thought that his desperate plan was going to fail. Falling through the air without his wings to keep him aloft was a terrifying experience and not one that he would be repeating any time soon, or ever if he had his own way. The Anima had loomed ahead of him, but for a split second it had felt like he was falling past it, and he had squeezed his eyes shut as tears trickled free. He had left this world’s Laxus behind, made a promise to his own Laxus that he was coming home, and it was all going to be for nought. However, just as he was losing hope, he had felt a jerk around his navel, and his stomach had lurched as he had been yanked into the depths of the Anima, nausea surging as suddenly the magic that he had lost six months ago surged through his body once more.

   It hadn’t been until he had been spat out the other side, eyes shooting open only to widen in alarm as he realised he had come out in the middle of the sky. He was falling again, and for a brief moment, he froze completely in a panic…but then he recalled the surge of magic from seconds before, and he frantically drew runes in the air, his movements were rusty, and his magic was sluggish in response, and he had closed his eyes once more, fully expecting to slam into the ground at unforgiving speeds. At the last moment, though he felt his magic form, his wings spreading out just in time to slow his fall enough that while it hurt when he hit the ground, he was able to roll into his knees a moment later, his breaths coming in short pants.

   He stayed like that for a few minutes, struggling to catch his breath, and almost too afraid to look around and see where he had ended up. However, eventually, he raised his head, his wings melting away as he gazed around. He had wound up in a wooded area, and he growled, that could be anywhere in Earthland if he had even made it back to his own world. _Am I home?_ Slowly he rose to his feet, grimacing as his body protested the movement before he glanced around, his breath catching in the back of his throat as he caught a glimpse of buildings through the trees. His heart was hammering in his chest, his movements clumsy as he stumbled forward.

_Please…please let me be home…_

   His legs gave way beneath him when he broke free of the tree line a few minutes later, his vision blurring with tears as his gaze settled on the distinctive spire of Kardia Cathedral. He huddled in on himself, his tears transforming into heavy sobs as relief washed over him, and he couldn’t stop his voice from shaking as he whispered to himself.

“I’m home. I’m home…”

_It really worked…_

*****

Earthland:

   Laxus sighed as he glanced around the guild, his gaze lingering for a moment on where Evergreen and Bickslow were sat talking with Mirajane and Lisanna, his teammates seemed animated enough, but every now and again there was a lull in the conversation, and their expressions would darken. _They miss him…_ It was because of them that he had come back to Fairy Tail. They had been relentless in hunting him down, to tell him what had happened in Edolas, to tell him that their Captain…their teammate…and his mate had not come back with them. He hadn’t believed them at first, or rather he had been unable to because admitting they were telling the truth meant acknowledging that Freed was gone. And admitting that he had failed his mate because he hadn’t been there and that he hadn’t been there because of his own actions.

    He had searched high and low for Freed. And they had trailed loyally after him, not even protesting when he had returned to Fairy Tail to demand answers, sure that there must be a way of getting to Edolas or at least reaching Mystogan. It had only been two months ago that he had finally admitted defeat, finally acknowledged that Freed was gone.

That was a pain that he would never forget.

The day he had finally accepted it, it had felt like his heart was being torn to shreds in his chest, that he was no longer able to breathe, and a small part of him had contemplated just ending it, anything to get rid of the empty hole that had opened in his chest. But he hadn’t been able to. Memories of Freed stopping him from throwing away what the Rune mage had given him, and he knew that the younger man would’ve wanted him to take care of the Raijinshuu and so he had survived. He had got on hands and knees and pleaded with his Grandfather to let him return, stunned by the support he had received from others in the guild, and a month ago he had been granted his guild-mark once more.

_Freed I came home…_

   He had a home. A family. A purpose. And yet every day was an exercise in pain, more challenging than any S-Class mission he had ever taken, and everything seemed to remind him of his mate. On jobs he found himself glancing to his right, expecting to see green hair and solemn eyes, only to be greeted by empty air as neither Ever or Bickslow had dared take that spot. In the guild he found himself wandering into the library expecting to see the Rune mage curled up in the corner behind a pile of books, or sat at their old table debating magic with the rest of the Raijinshuu or Levy. Around Magnolia, he was constantly hit by memories of dates - quiet walks around the town, and gentle kisses in private spots. Freed was everywhere he looked, and it felt like the hole in his chest was only growing by the day, and he was beginning to wonder if it would ever heal.

_Freed I miss you…_

   Just the day before, his Grandfather had suggested that he should contemplate having a grave or memorial built, something to put some closure on that relationship. Pointing out in a gentle tone that now that Edolas had lost all its magic, it was highly unlikely that Freed would ever be able to find a way back if he was even still alive. They had no idea what would happen to a mage trapped in that kind of world. He had immediately shot down the idea, unable to bear the thought of admitting that there was no hope, barely adjusting to the fact that he had accepted that he wasn’t going to find Freed. However, as he watched his teammates, he found himself actually contemplating what Makarov had suggested, hating himself for even thinking it.

_Can I really say goodbye to him…?_

   Stomach churning, he rose to his feet, leaving his drink mostly untouched, gesturing for Evergreen and Bickslow to stay as they had both made to follow as they saw him moving. He knew that they were missing Freed just as much as he was, just in a different way, but this was something he needed to decide for himself.

   Just before he reached the doors they burst open, and he glanced up listlessly, half expecting it to be Natsu as the idiot hadn’t turned up yet today and he was one of the few that entered so dramatically.  He had barely begun to lift his head when a familiar scent hit his nose, and he found himself completely frozen, scarcely aware of the silence spreading out behind him. He knew that scent. It was one that once upon a time he had dreamed of waking to every day. It was a scent he associated with lazy mornings and warm hugs. It was home and family, and he felt his eyes beginning to sting fiercely. _Why can I smell it now?_ It had long since faded from the house they had shared, and it felt unbelievably cruel for it to reappear when he was actually contemplating saying farewell, and he found himself unable to lift his head. _It can’t be him…_

“Laxus…” The soft whisper, so uncertain and frightened, shattered his paralysis. He knew that voice -had heard it in a thousand different tones, and he knew that there was no faking that voice, and there were tears on his cheeks as he lifted his head at last and his breath caught in his throat…

   There, leaning heavily on the door, tears trickling unrestrained down his cheeks was Freed. His Freed - long green hair and the distinctive cowlicks that he had always loved, hanging loose and messy down his shoulders. Turquoise eyes darting wildly around the guild as though he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing, lingering for a moment on the equally stunned Raijinshuu, before returning to the Dragon-slayer and Laxus was blown away by the sheer amount of emotion in them. The Rune mage had always been an open book to him, but he had never been this open in public…but now there was pain, hope, fear…love? Laxus found himself taking a tentative step forward at the last one, sniffing the air again, and letting the familiar scent wash over him and finally he managed to get his voice to work.

“Freed?” He asked, his voice catching for a moment before he took another step forward as he asked nervously. “My Freed…?”

   With a noise that was half sob and half disbelieving laugh, the Rune mage lunged forward, stumbling slightly, and the Dragon-slayer found himself moving to meet him without conscious thought. They met halfway, the younger man toppling forward into Laxus’ arms with a hiccupping sob, and the Dragon-slayer felt his heart leap into his throat. There was no mistaking this sensation. The way they fit together, and he felt his own tears beginning to fall freely as he wrapped his arms around Freed, pulling the younger man against his chest. He could feel the Rune mage trembling wildly as Freed buried his face against his chest, slender hands rising to clutch desperately at his back, as he quietly chanted the Dragon-slayer’s name, making it sound like it was the most precious thing on earth.

“Laxus…Laxus…Laxus…”

“Freed,” he whispered, resting his head against Freed’s for a moment. _Was this real?_ It felt real, Freed trembling against him, both of their heartbeats deafening in the silence around him. _You came home…_ Sniffling he burrowed his nose into soft green hair, nuzzling against the cowlicks for a moment, his lips finally curling into something resembling a smile as he felt Freed leaning into the sensation just as he always had. Hope crept in, and he pulled back slightly, expression softening at the soft noise of protest that met the action and reaching down to cup Freed’s face in his hands, tilting it up so that he could stare into turquoise eyes. “My Freed?” He asked again, needing to be sure, and this time he was rewarded by a tiny nod. With a sob of his own, he leant forward, gently pressing his lips against Freed’s. It was nothing like the wild, heated kisses he had dreamed about back when he had believed this reunion was possible. Instead, it was soft, gentle - a quiet ‘welcome home’ and ‘I love you’ all rolled into one.

   It was with a great deal of reluctance that they pulled apart a couple of minutes later, and Freed immediately burrowed back against the Dragon-slayer’s chest as he finally got his voice to work, even though it was little more than a whisper. Not that it mattered, because right now his words were meant for the Lightning mage alone.

“I’m…home.”

“Yeah,” Laxus whispered, sounding almost as disbelieving as the Rune mage, but this time the smile that tugged at his lips was warmer and more real, and he dropped a kiss to messy green hair before adding quietly. “Welcome home…”


End file.
